I am the stealthy creature in the tree. I am a ninja in grey. You will never see me coming. And when you finally behold my awesome, all you will say is "Awwww!"
“I visited the
pumpkin patch yesterday and decided to bring home a pumpkin that in
shape appeared to be a penguin. Friends and family were mystified until I
started painting him.“
A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.
Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?
Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.
Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok
Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts
Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
A++ addition
Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?
Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great
At my last company, one day someone in accounting approached me at lunch and quietly told me I need to ask for a raise because I was way underpaid.
They gave me a number to shoot for. It was about twice than what I had been making at the time.
So I went online, did some research, found some figures backing up my claim, put it all together and went to my boss.
I got what I asked for.
If it hadn’t been for that person in accounting telling me I was way underpaid, I’d have never known. I went from barely scraping by to being able to have a savings account and getting all my debts paid thanks to them.
You should at least check sites like salary.com to start the process of seeing what you should be making.
Because this is crucially important
Except for the fact that 90% of the time you are under contract not to talk about your salary otherwise the company can sue you. Every job I’ve had I’ve had to sign that I won’t discuss my pay with other employees otherwise my employment is terminated and the company will take legal action.
I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money.
“A scam” people are fucking wild.
This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?
people who’ve never had to worry about money always think it’s a “scam” when other people desperately need money. it’s rly irritating and gross.
One of the most amazing moments of my life happened when I was probably 20 years old. I was at the gas station, filled up, and when I went inside to pay, I realized I was out of checks (totally showing my age here). I didn’t have a debit card or cash, and I didn’t know what to do. Then magically, this lady in the line pops up and says, “Don’t worry, I got it. I owe you.”
I had no idea who the lady was. And I said so as I was trying to get her information so I could pay her back, and she said that a few years prior, she came through my line at the grocery store and I covered her bill out of my pocket and as she put it, treated her like a human when everyone else was judging her for using food stamps.
Anyway, she paid for my gas, wished me well, and left.
I will never forget that.
I still try to give when I can, and I don’t give a damn if I get duped or whatever. I do it because I happen to be the one who can in that moment and others have done the same for me. Fuck the cynical assholes who would shit on helping another human.
If you want just one (of many) valid reasons to hate how the Disney company handled the story of Pocahontas, know this:
When Pocahontas was kidnapped, she fell into a deep depression after enduring mental, physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her captors.
She was in such poor condition that her captors thought she was going to die, so they allowed her sister Mattachanna and brother-in-law Uttamattamakin to come to Jamestown to take care of her and nurse her back to health. This is when she confided to her sister that she had been raped several times (by more than one person) and believed she was pregnant. Mattachanna and Uttamattamakin were also with her when they sailed to London and were the ones who had to tell her father of her death (possible murder).
Pocahontas and Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World leave out Mattachanna entirely, but this is how they chose to depict Uttamattamakin:
Disney knew enough about this man to actually add him in a film and call him by his name (which also becomes a running joke because everybody fucks it up throughout the film), and THIS is how they portray him.
If that doesn’t make you sick to your stomach I really don’t know what will.
this. this is why I’m pissed, this shit right here. It makes me so unbelievably angry and makes me cry. I’m so sorry matoaka, so sorry they romanticized your abuse and your captors. I’m so sorry all the white girls dress up as you and defend there reasoning by saying “she’s just a disney Princess” you weren’t just a disney princess and I won’t let you be. you were a scared twelve year old child who went through things no child should ever have to go through. I will not let you be reduced to a bastardized fairytale. your real story will be heard and will not be ignored.
just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog
oh hey!! I’m not a janky radfem I can do it myself!
makeup culture is wack and normalizes a ludicrously high bar as the bare minimum women can do. I saw a “lazy"makeup tutorial the other day that listed 22 separate goddamn products. you’re supposed to buy and know how to use 22 different things on your face just for the privilege of being considered lazy and that’s uuuuuuh what’s the word? bullshit.
Really, five products could work, even 3. Just frame the face, eyes, lips, and you’re done.
0 products also works great
because I’m gonna be real here, the idea that 22 products is a minimum sucks but it’s really upsetting that any amount of makeup is the bare minimum at all
I would really just suggest some powder foundation, concealer, mascara and lipgloss/lipstick, or tbh just mascara works too, but that’s up to you
I’m sorry if I didn’t express this clearly enough in the original post but I’m not really looking for more concise makeup regiments. my intention was to point out how it’s Bad that makeup is considered a bare minimum at all, regardless of individual feelings on the matter
no face should be “required” to have “a minimum” of makeup. makeup has no health benefits and does nothing but fill the pockets of companies that prey on women and our insecurities.
makeup should not be seen as hygiene because it isnt. get that shit out of your head.
this post: makeup culture is ridiculous and 22 products should not be considered a minimum requirement for someones face. no one should have to do that
the notes: so like……. what youre saying is……. we need to make the minimum about 5 or 6 instead… i gotcha
